HMV’s future seen as handful of stores and website

LONDON (Reuters) – HMV, the 92-year-old British music retailer seeking protection from creditors, is unlikely to have much of a future beyond a rump of stores and the internet, if other recent retail failures are any guide.

After years of struggling as its core business of selling CDs and DVDs was hammered by competition from supermarkets like Tesco, online retailers like Amazon and download sites like Apple’s iTunes, HMV picked consultants Deloitte late on Monday to try to salvage some of its 239 British and Irish stores.

The decision, which puts 4,500 jobs at risk, is the latest blow to an industry which has seen a string of household names like Woolworths, MFI, JJB Sports and Comet fall by the wayside in a prolonged consumer downturn.

HMV, known for its Nipper the Dog trademark, will continue to trade while a purchaser is sought.

Chief Executive Trevor Moore, who only joined the firm in September, said on Tuesday he was confident it would emerge from the administration process in some form.

“We know that HMV is a well loved brand which has a high level of support amongst the public and we want to ensure that it remains on the high street,” he told reporters.

He had “a plan in mind” that would see the firm surviving with a stores presence along with a new digital and online offer, though he would not elaborate or say what the optimum size of the store estate should be.

SHAME

“It’s a shame, it’s been around so long. It’s like a bookstore – it’s nice to go and browse and feel them (CDs and DVDs), I’d miss it,” said Paul Wood, shopping at an HMV store in Canary Wharf, London.

However other shoppers, typifying HMV’s problems, said they were just looking before buying from cheaper outlets online.

Neil Saunders, managing director at retail consultancy Conlumino, said potential buyers could be interested in running the brand online or through some of its larger stores.

“I think it’s a good brand with a good emotional connection and I think someone will want it. And someone will be interested in acquiring a rump of stores because there are some that trade profitably within the group,” he told Reuters.

“A lot of the grocers have their own download services or mail order services so there could be interest from an existing player who just wants to use that name. Private equity may also see it as an opportunity.”

One that will not is U.S. private equity firm Apollo Global Management LLC. It holds some of HMV’s debt but ruled itself out of a takeover move on Monday.

The backing of suppliers – like music labels which look to HMV as one of the last major outposts for sales on shopping streets – has been crucial to the firm, and support remains.

“We are very supportive of them because they have been great trading partners,” said Universal Music, the world’s biggest music company.

But lenders and stakeholders were not prepared to strike another refinancing deal with HMV – whose 176 million pounds of debt as of October 27 dwarfs its market value of about 5 million.

“SEVERELY REDUCED”

“I think there is probably still some traction in having a presence on the high street but it would have to be severely reduced to be much more cost effective,” said Maureen Hilton at retail researchers Verdict. “There might be some attraction from investors if they can just pick which stores they have. Otherwise I think it will just become an online offer.”

Any residual presence online would see HMV following variety stores group Woolworths and rival entertainment group Zavvi.

Other collapsed retailers have managed to sell some stores, particularly to supermarket groups growing their convenience shopping businesses, though few have survived to trade under their own brands beyond a handful of outlets.

HMV, whose first store on London’s Oxford Street was opened by English composer Edward Elgar in 1921, grew to become a musical powerhouse, selling vinyl records, tapes and CDs to generations and had a hand in the Beatles’ big break, recommending the group’s demo record to publishers.

But it struggled to reinvent itself when its core markets went into decline, with expansion into live entertainment and books failing to change its fortunes and a recent push towards tablets and headphones coming too late.

In 2006 HMV’s board rejected an 842 million pounds bid from private equity firm Permira, saying it undervalued the group.

(Additional reporting by Kate Holton and Jonathan Cable; Editing by Mark Potter)

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Personal Best: Training Insights From Star Athletes

Of course elite athletes are naturally gifted. And of course they train hard and may have a phalanx of support staff — coaches, nutritionists, psychologists.

But they often have something else that gives them an edge: an insight, or even an epiphany, that vaults them from the middle of the pack to the podium.

I asked several star athletes about the single realization that made the difference for them. While every athlete’s tale is intensely personal, it turns out there are some common themes.

Stay Focused

Like many distance swimmers who spend endless hours in the pool, Natalie Coughlin, 30, used to daydream as she swam laps. She’d been a competitive swimmer for almost her entire life, and this was the way she — and many others — managed the boredom of practice.

But when she was in college, she realized that daydreaming was only a way to get in the miles; it was not allowing her to reach her potential. So she started to concentrate every moment of practice on what she was doing, staying focused and thinking about her technique.

“That’s when I really started improving,” she said. “The more I did it, the more success I had.”

In addition to her many victories, Ms. Coughlin won five medals in the 2008 Beijing Olympics, including a gold medal in the 100-meter backstroke.

Manage Your ‘Energy Pie’

In 1988, Steve Spence, then a 25-year-old self-coached distance runner, was admitted into the United States Long Distance Runner Olympic Development Program. It meant visiting David Martin, a physiologist at Georgia State University, several times a year for a battery of tests to measure Mr. Spence’s progress and to assess his diet.

During dinner at Dr. Martin’s favorite Chinese restaurant, he gave Mr. Spence some advice.

“There are always going to be runners who are faster than you,” he said. “There will always be runners more talented than you and runners who seem to be training harder than you. The key to beating them is to train harder and to learn how to most efficiently manage your energy pie.”

Energy pie? All the things that take time and energy — a job, hobbies, family, friends, and of course athletic training. “There is only so much room in the pie,” said Mr. Spence.

Dr. Martin’s advice was “a lecture on limiting distractions,” he added. “If I wanted to get to the next level, to be competitive on the world scene, I had to make running a priority.” So he quit graduate school and made running his profession. “I realized this is what I am doing for my job.”

It paid off. He came in third in the 1991 marathon world championships in Tokyo. He made the 1992 Olympic marathon team, coming in 12th in the race. Now he is head cross-country coach and assistant track coach at Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania. And he tells his teams to manage their energy pies.

Structure Your Training

Meredith Kessler was a natural athlete. In high school, she played field hockey and lacrosse. She was on the track team and the swimming team. She went to Syracuse University on a field hockey scholarship.

Then she began racing in Ironman triathlons, which require athletes to swim 2.4 miles, cycle 112 miles and then run a marathon (26.2 miles). Ms. Kessler loved it, but she was not winning any races. The former sports star was now in the middle of the pack.

But she also was working 60 hours a week at a San Francisco investment bank and trying to spend time with her husband and friends. Finally, six years ago, she asked Matt Dixon, a coach, if he could make her a better triathlete.

One thing that turned out to be crucial was to understand the principles of training. When she was coaching herself, Ms. Kessler did whatever she felt like, with no particular plan in mind. Mr. Dixon taught her that every workout has a purpose. One might focus on endurance, another on speed. And others, just as important, are for recovery.

“I had not won an Ironman until he put me on that structure,” said Ms. Kessler, 34. “That’s when I started winning.”

Another crucial change was to quit her job so she could devote herself to training. It took several years — she left banking only in April 2011 — but it made a huge difference. Now a professional athlete, with sponsors, she has won four Ironman championships and three 70.3 mile championships.

Ms. Kessler’s parents were mystified when she quit her job. She reminded them that they had always told her that it did not matter if she won. What mattered was that she did her best. She left the bank, she said, “to do my best.”

Take Risks

Helen Goodroad began competing as a figure skater when she was in fourth grade. Her dream was to be in the Olympics. She was athletic and graceful, but she did not really look like a figure skater. Ms. Goodroad grew to be 5 feet 11 inches.

“I was probably twice the size of any competitor,” she said. “I had to have custom-made skates starting when I was 10 years old.”

One day, when Helen was 17, a coach asked her to try a workout on an ergometer, a rowing machine. She was a natural — her power was phenomenal.

“He told me, ‘You could get a rowing scholarship to any school. You could go to the Olympics,’ ” said Ms. Goodroad. But that would mean giving up her dream, abandoning the sport she had devoted her life to and plunging into the unknown.

She decided to take the chance.

It was hard and she was terrified, but she was recruited to row at Brown. In 1993, Ms. Goodroad was invited to train with the junior national team. Three years later, she made the under-23 national team, which won a world championship. (She rowed under her maiden name, Betancourt.)

It is so easy to stay in your comfort zone, Ms. Goodroad said. “But then you can get stale. You don’t go anywhere.” Leaving skating, leaving what she knew and loved, “helped me see that, ‘Wow, I could do a whole lot more than I ever thought I could.’ ”

Until this academic year, when she had a baby, Ms. Goodroad, who is 37, was a rowing coach at Princeton. She still runs to stay fit and plans to return to coaching.

The Other Guy Is Hurting Too

In 2006, when Brian Sell was racing in the United States Half Marathon Championships in Houston, he had a realization.

“I was neck-and-neck with two or three other guys with two miles to go,” he said. He started to doubt himself. What was he doing, struggling to keep up with men whose race times were better than his?

Suddenly, it came to him: Those other guys must be hurting as much as he was, or else they would not be staying with him — they would be pulling away.

“I made up my mind then to hang on, no matter what happened or how I was feeling,” said Mr. Sell. “Sure enough, in about half a mile, one guy dropped out and then another. I went on to win by 15 seconds or so, and every race since then, if a withering surge was thrown in, I made every effort to hang on to the guy surging.”

Mr. Sell made the 2008 Olympic marathon team and competed in the Beijing Olympics, where he came in 22nd. Now 33 years old, he is working as a scientist at Lancaster Laboratories in Pennsylvania.

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This post has been revised to reflect the following correction:

Correction: January 15, 2013

An earlier version of this post misstated the year in which Steve Spence competed in the Olympic marathon, finishing 12th. It was 1992, not 2004. It also misidentified the institution at which he is a coach. It is Shippensburg University, not Shippensburg College. Also, the article misstated the circumstances under which Helen Goodroad attended Brown. She was recruited to row at the university, she did not receive a rowing scholarship. And because of an editing error, the article misstated the length of some races that Meredith Kessler has won. They are 70.3 mile championships, not 70.3 kilometers.

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The Caucus: Credit Rating Agency Warns of Downgrade if Debt Limit is Not Raised

Fitch Ratings Ltd. warned on Tuesday that Congress’s failure to raise the federal government’s statutory borrowing limit would “very likely” prompt a downgrading of the United States Government’s credit rating, and the agency seemed to suggest that Congress should simply do away with the debt ceiling altogether.

In a pointed statement, Fitch dismissed the assurances of some Republicans that the Treasury Department would be able to use incoming tax receipts to prioritize the payment of government debt and interest, as well as vital services like military pay and Social Security. That warning echoed the Treasury’s own assessment that breaching the debt ceiling could not be managed in any way that would minimize the economic turmoil or avoid default.

“It is not assured that the Treasury would or legally could prioritize debt service over its myriad of other obligations, including Social Security payments, tax rebates and payments to contractors and employees. Arrears on such obligations would not constitute a default event from a sovereign rating perspective but very likely prompt a downgrade even as debt obligations continued to be met,” Fitch wrote.

Standard & Poor’s, a larger credit rating agency, downgraded United States debt a notch in August 2011 after the last standoff over the federal debt limit, reflecting “our view that the effectiveness, stability, and predictability of American policy making and political institutions have weakened at a time of ongoing fiscal and economic challenges to a degree more than we envisioned.”

Fitch and Moody’s Investors Service, the other major rating agency, did not follow suit, keeping the rating of United States Treasury debt at AAA. Far from serving as a unifying moment, the S.&P. downgrade divided Washington further. Republicans said the downgrade resulted from President Obama’s refusal to dramatically cut spending to get the federal deficit under control. Democrats said it was a reflection of political paralysis that stemmed from Republican intransigence.

The Fitch warning seemed to hem in Republicans further, however. Mr. Obama has repeatedly said he will not negotiate over the debt ceiling, and on Monday, he compared Republican refusal to raise it to a criminal taking a hostage. Fitch appeared to side with the president.

“In Fitch’s opinion, the debt ceiling is an ineffective and potentially dangerous mechanism for enforcing fiscal discipline. It does not prevent tax and spending decisions that will incur debt issuance in excess of the ceiling while the sanction of not raising the ceiling risks a sovereign default and renders such a threat incredible,” the agency wrote.

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RIM says 15,000 BlackBerry 10 apps submitted in under two days

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Famed Hollywood movie house renamed TCL Chinese Theatre

(Reuters) – Hollywood’s landmark Grauman’s Chinese Theatre has a new name after a Chinese company purchased naming rights to the famous movie house and tourist destination.

The one-time site of the Academy awards will now be called the TCL Chinese Theatre following a 10-year deal with Chinese TV maker TCL Corp, its owners said on Friday.

Opened in 1927, the building had been named for Sid Grauman, a Hollywood showman who helped finance the theater’s construction. The theater hosted red-carpet premieres for “The Wizard of Oz” and other classic films and now is the site of about 40 movie premieres annually.

The landmark draws about 4 million viewers each year. It is fronted by an ornate Chinese pagoda and the hand and footprints of famous film stars captured in cement.

The deal with TCL will fund upgrades and preservation of the historic site, theater owners Elie Samaha and Donald Kushner said in a statement.

(Reporting By Lisa Richwine)

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Recipes for Health: Skillet Beet and Farro Salad

“Comforting” isn’t a word I usually associate with salads, but this week I put together five grain salads that fit that bill. Over the years I have developed a number of delicious whole grain salads that combine various grains with vegetables, herbs and often nuts, tossed in a tangy dressing. I have also married many a grain and vegetable in a pilaf. I decided to bring both concepts together in hearty salads that I’m calling “skillet salads;” each one is heated through in a skillet just before serving.

You can get ahead on all of these by cooking the grains or noodles ahead. Whole grains freeze well and keep in the refrigerator for three days. Then it’s just a question of preparing vegetables, herbs and dressing. Even if you don’t cook the grains ahead you can prepare the other ingredients while they’re simmering.

I make a meal of these at lunch, and serve smaller portions as sides or starters for dinner. If you want to serve the warm, tangy grains on a bed of salad greens I recommend spinach or sturdy greens like frisée or dandelion greens that will stand up to the heat of the salad and won’t wilt beyond recognition when topped with something warm.

Skillet Beet and Farro Salad

This hearty winter salad can be a meal or a side dish, and warming it in the skillet makes it particularly comforting. Cook your farro until you see that the grains have begun to splay so they won’t be too chewy and can absorb the dressing properly.

For the Salad:

2 medium or 3 small beets, roasted

1 cup farro, soaked for 1 hour in 1 quart water

Salt to taste

1 ounce lightly toasted pistachios (scant 1/4 cup)

1/4 cup chopped fresh herbs, such as parsley, tarragon, marjoram, chives, mint

Freshly ground pepper

For the Dressing:

2 tablespoons sherry vinegar

1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar

Salt to taste

1 small garlic clove, minced or pureéd

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil

2 tablespoons walnut oil

Crumbled feta for garnish (optional)

1. Roast the beets and meanwhile cook the farro. Place in a medium saucepan with the soaking water and bring to a boil. Add salt to taste, reduce the heat, cover and simmer 45 minutes to an hour, until the grains have begun to splay. Turn off the heat and allow to sit for 15 minutes or longer in the water. Drain through a strainer set over a bowl.

2. While the farro is cooking, make the vinaigrette. Whisk together the vinegars, salt, garlic, and mustard. Whisk in the oils. Pour into a wide frying pan or saucepan and add to the farro, along with a couple of tablespoons of the farro cooking water. Peel and dice the beets and add, along with the herbs and pistachios. Stir over medium heat until heated through and serve, with a little feta sprinkled over the top if you wish.

Yield: Serves 6

Advance preparation: The cooked farro and the roasted beats will keep for 3 or 4 days in the refrigerator.

Nutritional information per serving (6 servings): 304 calories; 19 grams fat; 2 grams saturated fat; 5 grams polyunsaturated fat; 11 grams monounsaturated fat; 0 milligrams cholesterol; 27 grams carbohydrates; 3 grams dietary fiber; 61 milligrams sodium (does not include salt to taste); 6 grams protein

Note: If you want to reduce the fat and calories in this dish, substitute buttermilk for some of the oil. Be careful not to allow the dressing to come to a boil when you heat it in the pan or the buttermilk will curdle.

Martha Rose Shulman is the author of “The Very Best of Recipes for Health.”

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Bits Blog: Security Firm Discovers Cyber-Spy Campaign

SAN FRANCISCO — A Russian cybersecurity company issued a report on Monday saying that it had identified a sophisticated cyberespionage campaign that has been in operation since 2007. The spy campaign targeted a range of government and diplomatic organizations, mostly in Eastern Europe and Central Asia, but also in Western Europe and North America.

Kaspersky Lab, the firm behind the discovery, said that digital clues suggested that the perpetrators were Russian-speaking, but that the campaign did not appear to be the work of a nation state. However, as with a number of other alarming recent reports on computer spying, Kasperky’s report offered few details that would allow for independent verification and did not specifically call out the names of the organizations affected.

In an interview, Kurt Baumgartner, a senior security researcher at Kaspersky Lab, said that among the “several hundreds” of victim organizations were “embassies, consulates and trade centers.” The vast majority of infected machines were based in Russia — where Kaspersky identified 38 infected machines — followed by Kazakhstan, where 16 infected machines were identified. Six infected machines were found in the United States.

Mr. Baumgartner described the campaign as a “sophisticated and very patient multiyear effort” to extract geopolitical and confidential intelligence from computers, network devices like routers and switches, and smartphones. The malware was designed to extract files, e-mails and passwords from PCs, record keystrokes and take screenshots, and steal a user’s Web browsing history on Chrome, Firefox, Internet Explorer and Opera browsers. It could also pilfer contacts, call histories, calendars, text messages and browsing histories from smartphones, including iPhones, Windows, Nokia, Sony, and HTC phones. And it collected information about installed software, including Oracle’s database software, remote administration software and instant messaging software, like that made by Mail.Ru, a Russian e-mail and instant messaging service.

But Kaspersky said what set the campaign apart was the fact that the attackers engineered their malware to steal files that have been encrypted with a classified software, called Acid Cryptofiler, that is used by several countries in the European Union and NATO to encrypt classified information.

Researchers discovered several Russian words embedded in the malware’s code, suggesting the attackers are of Russian-speaking origin. For instance, the word “Zakladka” appears in the malware, which, in Russian and Polish, can mean “bookmark.” It is also a Russian slang term meaning “undeclared functionality” in computer software or hardware. Intriguingly, Kaspersky’s researchers said that, in Russian, it also refers to a “microphone embedded in a brick of the embassy building.” (The United States and Russia have a history of bugging each other’s embassies.)

But as sophisticated as the malware was, Kaspersky said the methods attackers used to infect systems were not. The researchers infected machines with a basic “spearphishing” attack, in which they sent malicious e-mails to people within targeted organizations that contained malicious Microsoft Excel or Microsoft Word documents. Once opened, attackers were given full access to victims’ machines through well-known security exploits that were previously used in campaigns by Chinese hackers to spy on Tibetan activists and military and energy sector targets in Asia.

Mr. Baumgartner said the attackers either used well-known exploits out of “laziness or as a clever way to hide their tracks.”

The firm said attackers created more than 60 domain names and used several server locations, mainly in Germany and Russia, to manage the network of infected machines. But it said those servers were “proxies” designed to hide the true “mother ship” command and control server.

Asked why Kaspersky decided not to identify the targets of the attack by name, Mr. Baumgartner said that Kaspersky’s investigation was still in place. 

Cybersecurity has become a significant and growing concern globally, with hackers gaining access to private corporate and military secrets, and intellectual property. Last year, Kaspersky Lab discovered several state-sponsored computer viruses including Flame, a sophisticated computer virus that spied on computers in Iran, and Gauss, a separate virus that targeted Lebanese banks. The firm said it believed both viruses were sponsored by the same nation states that created Stuxnet, a sophisticated computer virus that The New York Times has reported was a joint effort by the United States and Israel.

But Kaspersky has been less forthcoming on viruses originating in its own back yard, in Russia and neighboring states, where Russian-speaking criminal syndicates control a third of the estimated $12 billion global cybercrime market, according to the Russian security firm Group-IB.

But Kaspersky’s latest discovery could signal a turning point. The firm nicknamed the campaign by Russian speakers “Operation Red October” — Rocra for short — because it was first tipped off to the campaign in October, after one of its partners passed Kaspersky a sample of the malware used. Since then, the firm has discovered over 1,000 “modules” or components of the malware, with the earliest crafted in 2007 and the most recent component having been built as recently as last week.

“The attackers managed to stay in the game for over five years and evade detection of most antivirus products while continuing to exfiltrate what must be hundreds of terabytes by now,” Kaspersky said in its report.

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Egyptian court orders new trial for Mubarak

CAIRO—

An Egyptian court granted an appeal by former President Hosni Mubarak and ordered a new trial into the killings of hundreds of protesters during the 2011 uprising, a move certain to inflame the political unrest that has upset the country’s democratic transition.

The ruling was a victory for the ailing Mubarak and his Interior minister, Habib Adli, who also won his appeal. Both men, who had been sentenced to life in prison, face other criminal charges and are likely to remain in detention until a new trial in the deaths by security forces of more than 800 protesters.

“The previous ruling was unfair and illegal,” said Yousry Abdelrazeg, one of Mubarak’s lawyers, who accused the judge in the first trial of political bias. “The case was just a mess and there was no evidence against Mubarak.”

No date has been set for the new trial.

The court’s decision comes amid turmoil over an Islamist-backed constitution and outrage over the expanded powers of Islamist President Mohamed Morsi. It means a bloody chapter in Egypt’s 2011 revolt will be revisited with the prospect that Mubarak, whose police state ruled for 30 years, may be absolved in a case that deepened the nation’s political differences and impassioned the Arab world.

Mubarak was convicted in June of not preventing the deaths of hundreds of protesters attacked by police and snipers during the uprising, which began on Jan. 25, 2011, and ended 18 days later when he stepped aside and the military seized power.

Mubarak argued that he had not ordered the crackdown and was unaware of the extent of the violence. A recently completed government-ordered investigation into the killings, however, reportedly found that Mubarak had monitored the deadly response by security forces in Tahrir Square via a live television feed.

The appeals court ruling came a day after prosecutors announced an investigation into allegations that Mubarak, 84, received about $1 million in illicit gifts from Al Ahram, the country’s leading state-owned newspaper. The former president has reportedly been in a military hospital since December after he fell in a prison bathroom and injured himself.

Last year’s trial riveted the nation with images of the aging Mubarak wheeled into the defendant’s cage on a stretcher, his arms crossed and his eyes hidden behind sunglasses.

jeffrey.fleishman@latimes.com  

(Special correspondent Reem Abdellatif contributed to this report)

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Why This Outdated Dating Manual Did Not Need a Social-Media Update

The Rules, a dating instruction manual of yore by two ladies named Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider (they know what they’re talking about ’cause they’re married!), should, by now, have gone the way of the cave drawing or the horse and buggy, as a relic of times past. It was initially published in 1995, nearly 20 years ago, and we don’t even want to calculate what that means in dog years. But alas, it’s still hanging around, lurking in the bookshelves of various bricks and mortar stores where such things are sold; lingering on Amazon.com and giving us coquettish looks; promising such things as actual, official answers in the ongoing struggle to win a man and make him put a ring on it (I’m paraphrasing, of course).

RELATED: Actual Wall Streeters Respond to Matchmaker’s Tips for Dating Them

Far from aging gracefully and going away, it’s been updated to bring it up to speed with the newfangled ways in which we do things, you know, on the Facebook and World Wide Web and whatnot. Of course, business-wise, this makes sense. It’s a best-seller! In fact, there’s a whole franchise of Rules books, described by Elle as “one of the best self-help books of all time.” So why wouldn’t Fein and Schneider and their publisher hope to make some more money with a new installment of the book that promises answers to pressing social media-dating questions like these: “How long should I wait to respond to his text message? Can I friend him on Facebook? Why did he ask for my number but never call me?” 

RELATED: Andrea Peyser Does Not Approve of This ‘Online Dating’

Well, they would. Grand Central Publishing released the book, Not Your Mother’s Rules, on January 8, and it’s ranked number 4 in dating books on Amazon. One would presume from the title and the pitch that the ladies behind it hope that the younger generations will lap this stuff up, just like their moms did. 

RELATED: Commuting to the Suburbs of Love

Of course, it’s a self-help book, so I am predisposed to dislike it. Self-help books, especially those about dating, often fall into a category that could be better described as, well, undermining. The problems with such books for me are multifold. One, they posit that human relationships can be commoditized; that there is one path that works for all in terms of getting what you want. (They also presume, in a stereotypical manner, that what we all want is the same, and, I think, infer there’s some ongoing battle between men, who want one thing, and women, who want the opposite.) I don’t think those messages are true, and I don’t think they’re particularly healthy or helpful, either.

RELATED: The Trials of Being a Married Olympian

Further, self-help books are published to make money. Those that say they’ll teach a reader how to get married or get the relationship they want do so by preying on the bewilderment, confusion, insecurity, and desires of women (and sometimes men, too). Sure, dating is hard. Sure, it’s difficult to find “the right person.” But the process should also to be fun, experiential, silly, weird, unique, and something we learn from. Figuring out what you want for yourself by doing it, that’s a great thing. Making dating about adhering to some code that a couple of people came up with and want to sell you so they can make money, well, that’s not so great. Women and men may read this stuff because they think it can’t hurt. Sometimes it feels good to believe that there are rules that can be followed to get what we want; it means we need only have the dedication and commitment to follow those rules, which is way easier than, for instance, thinking for ourselves deeply and making our own decisions, and having courage and believing in ourselves. 

RELATED: Old People Are Getting Better at Dating

Some of the advice in this book may not be categorically awful. Simplified to “don’t act like an obsessive”; “pause before you rush to do something you regret”; and “take care of yourself!” some instructions could actually be quite handy as a common-sense reminder. But categorizing it as stuff women need to follow to snag a man makes it highly problematic, even if the occasional tip is not so bad. And stuff like this, “New chapters include rules for text flirting: women under 30 wait 30 minutes to respond to a man’s text; older women should wait 4 hours,” as Pat Kiernan wrote today on his blog, is particularly disheartening, and inherently sort of woman-hating. Control your texting, The Rules ladies say. “Women shouldn’t take the first step to initiate any relationship — and that includes online dating,” they told the New York Daily News. Once you have a guy, ignore him, “at least for a little while.” And don’t sext until you’re married. That might save us from a few political scandals. But is this the kind of advice women need, in this day and age? 

If there was to be an excellent dating self-help book for the year 2013, I’d hope it would tell people to trust themselves. To behave as they see fit, according to the situation they’re in, regardless of age, because they are smart, lovely people who deserve the good things they put out into the world, and even if they make mistakes, they’ll find their way and do the right thing. That self-help book would tell women to stop reading dating self-help books, and instead to behave as though they knew they were wise enough to decide for themselves what they should do, to interpret the signs and make the right moves, or make the wrong ones and deal with that, too, instead of adhering to some rules that aren’t really the way we are at all. It would most of all tell everyone to be themselves, and stop pretending to be something else. Because The Rules, and those who follow them, create some weird perceptions among men and women. Suddenly anyone who does text someone right back is perceived somehow as needy or “too easy to get.” That’s especially odd given that a four-hour delay in a response, when you could respond quite easily, is actually rather rude. Would that we could rid the world of such descriptions as “hard to get” altogether, because more important than playing games or appearing a certain way (difficult to get?) is finding someone you care about and behaving a way that shows that you do. Why do we persist, instead, in making everything so convoluted and difficult?

We can only hope, I suppose, that as time progresses these tips will become as ancient and quaint-sounding as, for example, the instructions in Miss Leslie’s Behavior Book, published in the 1800s. Until then, a word of advice. Follow your instincts; if it feels right, it probably is; don’t believe everything you read in dating books, and maybe, do yourself a favor: Don’t read dating advice books at all. But DO read Miss Leslie’s, for snippets such as this: 

Now, that’s helpful advice. 

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Britney Spears calls off engagement, quits “X Factor”

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Pop star Britney Spears on Friday called it quits with both fiancé Jason Trawick and as a celebrity judge on “The X Factor” talent show.

Spears, 31, and Trawick, 41 – her former agent – got engaged in December 2011.

“Jason and I have decided to call off our engagement,” Spears said in a statement. “I’ll always adore him and we will remain great friends.”

The couple began dating in May 2010, following a turbulent few years in Spears’ personal and professional life in which she lost custody of her children, entered rehab and shaved off her hair.

Trawick added in a statement: “As this chapter ends for us a new one begins. I love and cherish her and her boys and we will be close forever.”

The wedding would have been the third for Spears. She divorced dancer Kevin Federline, with whom she had two children, in 2006.

The singer also spontaneously married childhood friend Jason Alexander during a trip to Las Vegas in 2004. That marriage lasted 55 hours before the singer annulled the union.

Spears and Trawick announced their split the same day that the “Toxic” singer confirmed she was leaving “The X Factor” after just one year as a judge on the Fox singing show, saying it was time to get back to making music.

“I had an incredible time doing the show and I love the other judges and I am so proud of my teens but it’s time for me to get back in the studio.

“Watching them all do their thing up on that stage every week made me miss performing so much! I can’t wait to get back out there and do what I love most,” Spears said of her “X Factor” departure.

Spears’ most recent album, “Femme Fatale,” was released in March 2011.

Celebrity website TMZ.com reported on Friday that Spears was in talks about a long-term residency gig in Las Vegas. The gambling city is already host to stars like Celine Dion and Shania Twain, who perform under long term contracts.

Spears was recruited to “The X Factor” with a reported $ 15 million salary after a 14-year singing career that made her one of the biggest pop stars of the 2000s.

But audiences slumped and the TV show lost about 3 million regular viewers from its first season. Many fans and TV critics found Spears bland and boring.

The exit of Spears leaves “X Factor” creator Simon Cowell searching for two new judges to lift his show past its NBC rival, “The Voice,” in the ratings when it returns in September.

Judge and record producer L.A. Reid announced in December that he would be returning full time to his job as the head of Epic Records.

Spears took “The X Factor” gig with singer Demi Lovato, 20, in May 2012 to fill the judges’ seats left by Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger, who were both fired by Cowell a year ago.

(Reporting By Jill Serjeant and Eric Kelsey; Editing by Eric Walsh and Carol Bishopric)

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